Friction=Growth=Love=Abundance!

The quintessential question??

Should I get married?? This is the quintessential question one ask when you are 35 and all alone.I think marriage is very dated. People tell me get married, find some one, who is going to take care of you when you are old and sick. They try to put all kinds of fear in your mind, my ex-bosses wife tells me I have a nice girl(a divorcee after couple of months of marriage) for you , she will cook and clean, since you don't like working women, I had actually started calculating the amount of money I would be saving after getting rid of the cook and the help, but I refused to give in to my shrewd and calculating mind and said a polite "NO", the offer stands still :).

I always say  that if anyone wants to marry me, it wont last more than a couple of years, my first marriage lasted for 7 years, ah maybe it was because of the kids. As the question comes up on my walk, it starts raining and I run for shelter,I get a chance to eavesdrop on a conversation a 82 year old NRI is having with some women, that how he has put out an advertisement in the papers for companionship, but he was unable to find one. Looking at the spirit of the old man, I felt hope. I am still too young.So the answer is still "NO". But again if I am in LOVE I think getting married is very romantic.

Clear and present danger

Most of our lives we try to avoid situations where we would have to face our "worst fears come true" and again ironically the whole point of existence is in outgrowing one's fear and realizing our true potential. Once a friend remarked "manoj you are very interesting, you like to get in to trouble". Contrary to it, I don't like trouble, I avoid it.Yes, some experiences have made me fearless in certain aspects of my life, but in certain areas I have been running like crazy, getting chased by fear for years, it has driven me crazy, the fear has haunted me, I become a recluse, shut myself up to the world.

Finally the day has come my consciousness has shifted ,I am no longer chasing my "worst fears coming true" . I want to meet it halfway, and see how it goes, I want to embrace it, love it, and ask "so what have you got " .

I am a suave,smooth talking,boorish,(somewhat)chivalrous MCP.

Yes! you heard me right. People describe me a soft spoken, suave, loner, chivalrous,boorish. Besides all these dynamic qualities , I realized I am a MCP( Male Chauvinist Pig).Well I know its a tad late in life to realize that, when you are about to enter a phase called midlife crisis, but realizing and accepting and then understanding consciously can make a change in your subconscious energy signature.So the endeavor here to change the conditioning deep within.

I realize I hated women all my life,I don't know where this conditioning comes from, is it from my past life? or my current life??, where I have perceived women around me as weak, dependent, not standing up for themselves.Well your guess is as good as mine. I wouldn't like to get into regressive mode here, for the time being.

As my bird brain is still trying to figure out, why I am becoming a Martyr here,Let me take the opportunity to ask for forgiveness to all the women in my life, who have a been a victim. And a big feeling of gratitude towards all the women who have retaliated and fought (and still fighting) tooth and nail, without you I wouldn't have come to this realization.

Look...Monsoon Is Here !

The First Shower of Monsoon in MUMBAI !....

Scene 1.

Curtains open, windows give way...smiling heads and dancing hands pop out and welcome the monsoon. Children run out , clad in colourful raincoats . Boys showoff their football ettiques and Girls flaunt their fancy umbrellas ,eager to be noticed !

Some making plans for sizzling sizzlers ..yet others eating home made bhajiyas and pakoras!...the wind kissing their faces , the shores add music to their ears ...

What an Evening ...Look Monsoon is here!

Scene 2.

Traffic seems to gear up . The foothpath is helter skelter ... boys on the signal , are desperate to save piles of books which are drenched in the rain. A mother, earnestly trying to shelter the baby in her arms with the pallu of her sarree. Though futile, afterall ! The homes are wet ,as the roofs are cracking.The poor old couple is shivering on the roads waiting for the cloud to pass. Girls trying to hide their skin as the visitors in the crowd stare away ! The dripping of rain and the dripping of tears hold no difference for some!

Food , hopefully they would manage.If only their burners and stoves burn... fighting the wind and resisting the volatile rains!

What an evening ...Look Monsoon is here!

 

Copyright Sunshine (Sunshine is a guest author)

I am no longer available on chat

Something strange has happened, it started with my first computer in 1999 and yahoo chat, the chatting bug hit me big time,from 1999 to 2008 i have been chatting and chatting, i was thrilled to chat with strangers from distant lands and not so distant lands, adding them randomly talking to them, made some amazingly good friends and some i would rather forget. The virtual world seemed to fill my emptiness, the chat buddies were so dependeble, whenever i felt bored, lonely, they were there amusing me, sharing songs,talking about life,business opportunities,advising,flirting.

But this woman seems to have done what no one has ever done, filled my emptiness, i am no longer chatting, with strangers, i am no longer looking for frivolous friends, i want deeper meaning to all my relationships.I am not sure what that means though!!!

LET US.... NOT !

LET US.... NOT !

Let US NOT ...

Live to Die

Dream to Forget

Love to Cheat

Marry to Divorce

Bear Kids to Abandon

Argue to Win

Give to Get

Lie to Belong

Make Promises to Break

Last but NOT the least.....

BREATHE WITHOUT AWARENESS !

copyright @ sunshine

Dad

 

"The ultimate reward for any person is when he is appreciated by his parents", well I don't say that but I think it is  Sigmund Frued.

My Dad was a charismatic person, he was tall (6.1"), broad built and fair.I am not so tall, not broad and definitely not fair. I remember how people got impressed with him easily,he was an Engineer from VJTI, he had fancy cars, mercs, toyota ,gypsy and etc etc, 3 ,4 factories, and poor relatives. I remember one day when I went to the bank with him, how the women in the bank started comparing me and my dad(those were the days when banking was personal and there was no IVR,and banks were his playground), they were saying , "oh he is not as tall as his dad" rather disappointingly . I felt bad about it, that I didn't have his kind of personality where people would get attracted to me.

All along in my growing years I tried to be like him, he was a business man, so I never had any urge to ever think of a job.He was tall and I would hang on bars to grow tall, all the gymming didn't do the trick either.But I realize I cant be his carbon copy,I am a individual with a different blueprint, and that I might have some talents and attributes which would make me special(hopefully).

Retrospectively I realize that this image of a larger than life charismatic personality was well created by him, he always wanted to show me that he was capable of anything and everything, and he was fearless. When I would raise question about his passing of his knowledge and legacy in an organized manner, he would get irritated and tell me " I am going to live to be 100" that's what my kundli says, he passed away at 61.I used this security of his living to be 100, to my advantage and wasted a quite a few many years day dreaming instead of assuming any responsibility,I wish he had talked about his fears and insecurities, that he was not larger than life, and he was as vulnerable as any guy out there is, maybe I could have helped him share his burden, deal with his issues, I don't know what is right and wrong but if I had to raise kids I would let them know about my insecurities and fears , take my children's help to deal with life, after all evolution is always progressive,children are smarter than their parents.

So lesson to be learnt for Dad's from my experience.

• Talk about your fears and take help from your children.

Lesson for kids

• Show some compassion you are probably too young to understand the complex emotions of matured,experienced grownups .i.e your parents.

I hope Dad appreciates this post.

LOVE!

Hello ppl!
Feels gr8 to be a part of this blog , I feel HONOURED ..thanx to MANOJ to have given me some room here :).
This being my first post , I 'd like to dedicate it to this BLOG :
'MONEY=LOVE=ENERGY'.
I feel drawn to LOVE(from the title) here...What a feeling!  Do I DARE to describe how I feel?..I ll make an attempt ,pardon my flaws:

"The voice across the phone, makes me quiver...
Pounding is my heart so loud and clear ..
The depth of his breaths ..pull me to him,
Longing for his Touch ..almost killing !
Life has never been this Beautiful, I believe..
He gives it depth, he gives meaning.
Sometimes I wonder, what I'd do without him ?
Wrapping me in his arms , he goes...
"I LOVE U, Sweetheart"...and the MAGIC flows.
GOD..I pray , please let him STAY ,
Take my LIFE , but never, ever Take him  AWAY !...
For, thru him I FEEL CLOSER TO U..
As he takes me to HEAVEN ..Which is home to U!"

Bhootnath Reviewed

I landed in the movie theatre about 45 minutes late, though didn't feel like i had missed much of it, saw lot of kids on summer vacation laughing out loud as soon as i entered, and thought it must be a hilarious movie, and i said what a relief, no more melodrama of a typical Hindi movie.But no sooner that the director starts getting in touch with the emotional side of the audience, and for once he got me, as i sobbed and sobbed in the movie, the theme is all cliche, i have realised that there is nothing more to movies all the themes are have been used, all that matters in this day and age is the packaging.

The Director has used the Ghost(Bhooth) instead of a live person which makes it exciting and different, otherwise its the same thing, about generation gap, how the new generation is materialistic and don't bother about their parents sentiment, but the packaging is fresh, i loved it. It all and all Amitabh and the little guy's movie, SRK and Juhi play rather subdued supporting cast.

Now the big question why i sobbed, because

1. i went to see the movie all alone.
2. because it deals with father son issue, and son father issue.(working on it)
3. It does give a message about unconditional love,if love is unconditional forgiveness is automatic.
4. And superb performance by Amitabh, no matter how many times you see him do these kind of roles.

Definitely worth a watch. i hope i haven't given the story away :P.

5 things I would like in next 5 years.

I was asked to list down the top 5 things I would like to achieve in 5 years, almost month back, but somehow, I am unable to imagine or visualise the top 5 things i would like to achieve in next 5 years, some of the generic answers I can think of would be

1. More Cash.
2. Work to be extremely fulfilling.
3. Travelling to exotic locations.
4. Good Health, infinite abundance and grace on all my loved ones.
5. Beautiful house, sexier cars,more gadgets, more technology, more simplicity, more peace in the world, clean, green and sustainable environment .
6. Bliss.